Fishing Jokes.

Fishing jokes
Here are some fishing jokes and puns. With a mix of jokes about fish and some dad fishing jokes mixed in as well. There are some one liner fishing jokes as well.

We hope you enjoy them.

 

Patient – Doctor, when I go fishing, it hurts when I do this.
Doctor – Well, then don’t do that.

 

Why doesn’t a fish make a good table?
Because it has no legs.

 

Doctor – What happened?
Patient – I broke my arm in three places fishing.
Doctor – Then don’t go fishing in those places.

 

Customer – Hi, I was after a rod, reel and line. Can you do a special custom order of fishing gear?
Fishing shop – Yes sir, we can do that. What would you like?
Customer – I was after a reel that when you wind it, it feels like someone has put gravel in the gears. The line I want, is so rough, that it feel like it has been rubbed with sandpaper. The rod I want is, so the first time you cast it first time, it will snap in three places.
Fishing shop – Sir, we can’t sell you fishing gear like that!
Customer – Why not? You sold it to me yesterday.

 

Fishing jokes and puns.

 

Fishing wife – Doctor, is my husband going to be alright?
Doctor – Yes.
Fishing wife – Doctor, you said my husband is going to be alright. His left hand is amputated off.
Doctor – He fishes with right hand, so he is all right. And also he lost his left hand, so he is all-right.

 

Why didn’t the lawyer like to go fishing?
Because the fish thought the lawyer was a cockroach.

 

Two anglers were fishing in bear country. When they heard a growl and looked around and seen a Grizzly bear running towards them.
One fisherman started to take of his waders and put his shoes on.
The other fisherman said, “What are you doing? You can’t outrun the bear.”
The fisherman replied, “I don’t have to outrun the bear, I only have to outrun you.”

 

When fish play football, who is the captain?
The kipper.

 

What sort of net is useless for catching fish?
The world-wide net.

 

What sort of net is useless for catching fish?
Net worth.

 

Why doesn’t the dog like fishing?
He was a boxer.

 

Why aren’t fisherman good boxers?
Because they only have hooks.

Fishing dad jokes

I got a new fishing rod and reel for my wife… best trade I made.

 

Did you hear about the saltwater fisherman who was addicted to seaweed?
He was told to get kelp.

 

What do you call a fish that won’t shut up?
A big mouthed bass!

 

What did the builder hire a shark?
Because he wanted the hammerhead to nail the lumber.

 

Why are fish so gullible?
They fall for things hook, line and sinker!

 

Why can’t you tell a joke while ice fishing?
Because it’ll crack you up!

 

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Tuna fish.
Tuna fish who?
You can tuna piano, but not tune a fish.

 

What sits on the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
A nervous wreck.

 

Did you hear about the killer whale?
He went for the krill.

 

Why wouldn’t the girl eat her sushi?
Because she thought it looked too fishy.

 

Why did the policeman suspect the sushi robbed the bank?
Because the sushi was acting fishy.

 

Why did the fisherman buy the casino?
Because the fisherman wanted to catch a whale.

 

Why didn’t the fisherman want to fight the fish?
Because the fish was a swordfish?

 

Fisherman – Doctor, every time I have birthday cake, I get indigestion?
Doctor – Remove the birthday candles first before you eat the cake.

 

Why did the fisherman cross the road?
To get away from his wife and go fishing.

 

Why don’t the fish believe in measuring anything?
Because they have no feet.

 

Why don’t the fish measure anything?
Because they live in the water and have no yards.

 

Why did the fisherman leave his wife?
He heard there was plenty more fish in the sea.

 

Why does the fisherman listen to music?
Because he likes bass.

 

Why did the fish get bad grades at school?
Because he was below sea level.

dad fishing jokes

 

What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line.

 

Father and son were fishing together, talking about various things.
The son said to his farther, “Dad, can you tell me what is a solar eclipse?”
The dad replied, “No sun.”

 

What did the mother shark say to the baby shark chasing the fisherman?
“Stop playing with your food.”

 

Father and daughter were fishing together.
The daughter asks her farther, “Dad, what is it like being drunk?”
The dad replied, “See those two birds up there? You would see 4.”
The daughter replies, “Dad, there is only 1 bird there!”

 

Two friends, Ted and Bob were fishing.
Ted says to Bob, “How does your wife let you go fishing so much?”
Bob replies, “I tell my wife I am busy at the bank. I just don’t tell her it is the fishing bank.”